Tonight I went to a party that a friend invited me to. Basically we played games and watched Firefly. Now, normally I wouldn’t drive that far on a Saturday because I’m lazy and don’t like to waste gas, but it helped me resist temptation. The temptation of what you ask? To go to a Christmas party, that isn’t even all that fun, where my ex boyfriend (M) and his fiance might be. I think that’s a pretty legitimate reason to go to different party an hour away, as opposed to one about 10 minutes away. Anyway, that was a purposefully missed connection. But what other missed connections happen in our lives? And if they are missed connections, is there a reason they are missed? I don’t really believe in coincidence, partly because that is one of Gibbs’ rules and partly because I think that God has our lives timed out to where everything happens in the right place at the right time. I am still making up my mind whether I think our lives have a perfect path that we can’t stray from or if free will is involved. I think I’m somewhere in the middle, where we get to choose where we go and what we do, but God is always in those actions and that there are a million different options and we do choose how to react, sort of like that alien in MIB 3 (great movie) that can see all the infinite possibilities of what could happen if this or that happens. I really don’t know. It’s 1 a.m. so I’m blabbering. I think missed connections, actual ones not the ones where we avoid people, are missed for a reason, I don’t know if it’s due to timing or what.
Thanks for reading!
P.S. I’m trying to learn to love myself, and not just parts of me, but all of me.