I’ve watched a lot of Law and Order SVU this week. Yeah, I know I don’t have much of a life, but I can’t say I didn’t enjoy it, so I’ve got that going. I started wondering how television shows like that are so popular, I love them, don’t get me wrong, but who would think that crime dramas would be so popular? One of my favorite shows is NCIS, I enjoy Law and Order SVU, CSI was one of my favorites before Grissom left, Criminal Minds is utterly fascinating, and The Mentalist is witty and funny. Those are all the crime shows I enjoy watching, but I only keep up with NCIS, it is my absolute favorite show, followed by Once Upon a Time, and New Girl. Anyway, so I have a theory as to why those shows are so popular. I think it’s possible that the sex crimes in Law and Order are so intense and unthinkable that I think we get stuck thinking that no one would or could ever do that, yet people do. I think it numbs us to what goes on in the world today, but I could be wrong. I also think that the characters in the shows we watch are a major reason we watch what we do. Like I said, I could be wrong.
I had a dream the other day about the internet guy, it was really cute, which sucked. It’s easier to stop thinking about people when you don’t think about all the things that could’ve happened. Trust me, I think a lot, which can get me in trouble. The hopeless romantic in me is still waiting for him to realize that I’m awesome and that maybe we could have a future, but I don’t foresee that happening any time soon. I am stronger than he thinks though, and I will not chase him, so communication with him is on hold until further notice. I’ve been thinking a lot, uh oh, about how we can so easily hurt people, be it accidental or on purpose. I admit I have hurt people, and I regret it, maybe not what has come of it, but hurting people is hard. I regret hurting M by kissing R, but I don’t regret that we broke up. I don’t think I would ever really be happy in a long term relationship with him. I’m just saying we should be more careful about how we treat people, and that is another thing that I have to constantly remind myself.
I am my biggest critic, which I have written about before, and I know I am not the only one. Why do we do that? To improve ourselves? It doesn’t really seem like it improves anything, unless it’s constructive, not “my eyelashes are short” or “my boobs are too small” or anything of that sort. Let’s improve how we interact with ourselves and others. So what if your eyelashes are too short? You’re still you! I didn’t include anything about being too fat or too skinny or whatever, because really, a person should take care of their body in whatever way works for them. I will admit I judge people a lot for superficial things, like the fact that leggings are not pants, or hugely heavy people. I don’t think being that heavy is healthy, and I certainly don’t think you should be wearing your clothes too tight, but that goes for everyone. I think wearing clothes too tight at all just makes someone look bigger than they are, but I digress. So yes, I do engage in negative self-talk, and I judge people on appearances, but you know what? I’m trying not to. If you walked into my bathroom you would find sticky notes with encouragement and all the things I like about myself on them. I don’t have any concrete way to see if I judge people less, so I’m still just starting to work on that. I’m not perfect, and I never will be, but if I can be the best person I can be, I will be happy.
P.S. Sometimes I have issues opening doors, and I end up running into them because I turn the knob AFTER I push.