Scarred for Life Part Two

Hey all!

I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written anything. I have been struggling with being back home, there are a lot of things I have not fully dealt with, so let me tell you about what has happened in the past year or so since I last wrote something.

I am back from DC. I don’t know how to incorporate that into my story, since only one person in my life here was able to visit me, they never saw my world in DC. It was kind of like a dream in that I experienced a whole world, but no one was with me, except the women in my house. I still have trouble feeling it was real sometimes. I have been to therapy since I’ve been back, to deal with several things. I am still dealing with dynamics within the house that created tensions and lasting resentments and I’m still dealing with a relationship with a guy who wanted to be a woman and who was manipulative and a little emotionally abusive. So it’s been a rough year. I changed jobs, and I’m still trying to figure out what I actually want to do. I’m dating someone new, someone I’ve been friends with for four years, and some days it’s good and sometimes it’s bad, but he’s a sweetheart.

I’m currently working in retail, with several people who are 19 and 20. There’s one person who’s only goal is to pay off his car, and he’s perfectly fine working 30 hours a week to do it. As someone who is trying to figure out what I want to do in my life, since retail is NOT my dream job, working with people who have little to no ambition is really weird to me. How am I supposed to figure out what I want to do in the world when there are so many possibilities and I only have certain skills? I really don’t know the answer to this question, but I know I don’t want to work retail, so that’s a small start.

A friend recently sent me a quote about finding someone who tastes like adventure, but I want to be someone who tastes like adventure, and I think there’s where I’ll start. I’m thinking about taking an intro boxing class, so I’ll keep you all posted!

Always,

-M

P.S. I’m extremely disappointed that I didn’t have Trick or Treaters this year, because they’re all so cute in their little costumes!