Yes, I did mean to write, “squid goals”, not “squad goals”. I’m still trying to figure out what squad goals really are, I might be fairly young, but the vernacular of my generation and the generations younger than me is occasionally confusing.
Anyway, I was at work today and I have a lot of time to think there since it’s Target and it doesn’t take much brain power, mostly just physical energy, and I was thinking about friends. Now those of you who know me know that I’m a pretty quiet person when I meet new people, and that I don’t have a ton of friends. Both of these have remained true throughout my life and look to remain true in the future. I love all of my friends dearly, and wouldn’t trade them for the world, because when I do make friends, I like to keep them for life. My best friend and I have been friends for 17 years, which is a really long time considering we’re in our mid-twenties, and I’m so excited to see what future years hold.
I have a great group of friends, but I don’t have a friend group. I don’t have that group that always hangs out, throws parties for peoples’ birthdays, has fun adventures together, and just has a ton of fun. I have individual friends who are all wonderful, but spread across the country, or just haven’t really met because there are different circumstances in which we met. I had a friend group in high school, we were the smart kids who made fun of everybody else. I had a friend group during my volunteer year, mainly because we lived together, but still, it was a group that I regularly had adventures with and shared our highs and lows together. I really enjoy having a friend group, and I miss the community that comes with that. I’m hoping if I actually get my life together and motivate myself enough to go to jiu jitsu I’ll have a semblance of a friend group there.
There’s an odd loneliness that can accompany not having a friend group. I’m always hanging out by myself or one-on-one, which can be fine, but I truly miss having a community in my life.
They say hind-sight is 20/20, and I think that is an excellent way to describe how I tend to look at past memories in my life. The communities I have been a part of in the past have been amazing and fun and supportive, but there are always problems. I have come to a point in my life where I try to be 100% h0nest with my close friends, and I have a hard time imagining I would be able to do that in a group setting. I’m exceedingly grateful that I have the amazing people I do in my life, and I think every hurt and misstep is totally worth having them.
The distinction between a group of friends and a friend group is a fine line.
P.S. Tsuro is a really fun board game, and you should all check it out!